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:icondeborah-valentine: More from Deborah-Valentine


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Submitted on
August 21, 2005
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when i was born my own personal carnage began
shocked into a reality i would never liken to
while others suck their putrid cigar air
swim poluted rivers, spawning in a gambling miasma
magnificent horses, their great bulk standing on fingernails
would run mile after single mile

at the end of their short lives
convelesce at the gates of a glue factory
or to be shot
or the lucky ones who were loved for more than a fat purse
would eat sweet grass in some peaceful field

i wish i was born one thousand years ago
to ride through the castle gate
dressed in velvet
scarlet as a setting sun
guarding my chastity
for the chosen one
another grouping of my wacky sring of words
[link] Music by *divee
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:iconra76:
ra76 Featured By Owner May 2, 2010
another awesome poem
I love the 1st section, you are aware of the ugliness of the surroundings of the race track and these beautiful creatures are there for are fat greedy selves and roman enjoyment.
Then the 2nd section- the end of the line for the horse- none of which are good-even the grazer lost it's spirit and just eats the rest of its days.
Then your empathetic last section, where you imagine yourself as the horse, as he or she should be. Loved, respected and made for legend.
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner May 2, 2010  Professional Traditional Artist
wow, nobody reads my poems

thank you!

[link]
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:iconra76:
ra76 Featured By Owner May 2, 2010
My pleasure
and thanks for your link
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:iconyakiroba:
yakiroba Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2006
sweet!! I love your writing, and it's really cool to hear it put to music!! :D
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
So you have heard from Ton's site!
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:iconyakiroba:
yakiroba Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2007
yes!! I finally checked it out!! I can be a slacker at time! :nerd:
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007  Professional Traditional Artist
why did you delete all the corpses we made together?
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:iconyakiroba:
yakiroba Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007
oh I didn't! what had happened was that I put them in storage so they wouldn't get chosen for the show a couple of months back. the problem now is that I'm not able to get into my storage!! I'm hoping it's just some bug that dA is working on, cuz all of my collaborations are invisible :(
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007  Professional Traditional Artist
weird! well I am glad you put some light on that matter. i was sooo sad :tears:
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:iconyakiroba:
yakiroba Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007
yeah I'm pretty annoyed about the whole thing because I was afraid this would happen, that someone would think I deleted my collabs with them
I think Victor Newman is waiting for you in Conference Room C :fear:
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2007  Professional Traditional Artist
well you can reclaim them from my gallery ;)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
I heard your voice speaking those words many many times while working on the song.
It's strange to read the words after hearing them.:)
Ofcorse these words make very much sense to me.
I know this poem out of my head haha!
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
very interesting to come back to the original poem after hearing the words. it freaks me out on my myspace page sometimes to hear my own voice.
Reply
:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
Well, evrybody likes your voice. The song got a lot of attention on myspace.
Some new ones are nearly finished.;)
If you have any time to record some new poems I would be extremely happy.:)
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
cool... i need to tweak the settings as the playback is too quiet.. i can barely hear it. what am i doing wrong?
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:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
Perhaps you have to check the windows recording and playbackvolumes. If possible increase the mic input volume, the aux and line volume. Also increase the global volume.
What do you use for recording?
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
k
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:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
:)
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
very interesting to come back to the original poem after hearing the words. it freaks me out on my myspace page sometimes to hear my own voice.
Reply
:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
And now someone is going to dance on the song and trying to make a video of it.:)
I hope she will succeed!
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
I am really happy about that. word in the wires is that DA is going to have video and music abilities.
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:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
That would be great! Think about the EC for example.;)
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
yeah. video editing of surreal stuff would be quite popular.
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:icontonharing:
TonHaring Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
It has a bright future!
Reply
:iconiamshe:
iamshe Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2005
I like it, but the opening line is the hands-down winner for me. Fantastic and bold (which to me is mismatched with the seeming weakness and passivity of the ending characterization…but that's just me. I'm not big on chastity and the charms of feudal life escape me).

:)
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
you are right, those were very difficult times for women, mists of avalon was in my mind. or once and future king. a romantic notion, and i know that if i had lived then, i would have been pregnant rather early, or wed against my will.
Reply
:iconiamshe:
iamshe Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005
probably me, too, or maybe I would've run away with my love, the farmboy next door, handfasted, then lived in a shack in the woods subsisting on dandelion greens and mushrooms and the occasional rabbit, learning lore from the local strega. :)
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
watch out for the fairy circles when you plow your field!
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:iconiamshe:
iamshe Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2005
good advice!
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:iconpaulocunha:
PauloCunha Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2005   Traditional Artist
Interesting and.....well....interesting..:eyepopping:
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconpaulocunha:
PauloCunha Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2005   Traditional Artist
You're welcome:)
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
yes, i grew up with these things. horse races and the smell of booze and cigars. torn, losing tickets littered everywhere by the last race.
Reply
:iconravens-eye-studio:
Ravens-Eye-Studio Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
Wonderful...So full of such vivid images that i, once again, can do nothing other than marvel at the pictures that you evoke in my imagination. Well done!!
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you! i am a novice, and have much room for improvement! i am glad you can take some images with you when you have read this.
Reply
:iconsad-king-billy:
Sad-King-Billy Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2005
i like this one, though i think i lost the trnsition from people to horses and then back again.... or is it all the same theing?
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
neigh!
Reply
:icontwofistedpencil:
TwoFistedPencil Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2005
Ah, but this wacky string of words makes sense. It really does. A disgust with the modern world & how it uses up & spits out people & other organisms like used tissue paper, coupled with a nostalgia for something that is obviously & deliberately imaginary (as opposed to the usual imagined past that the imaginer believes is real). Maybe the poem says that today's civilization, disgusting as it is, does not come from a better bygone age & so there is no reason for true nostalgia?

Or am I reading too much into this?
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
your analysis is interesting to me, you are quite right about this one. i grew up on the race track, my stepfather trained horses. it was a very seamy environment.
Reply
:icontwofistedpencil:
TwoFistedPencil Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2005
So my analysis is correct? Great. What do I win?
Reply
:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
i dont think there is winning unless you go to the track and bet :XD:
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:icontwofistedpencil:
TwoFistedPencil Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2005
Not even a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni?
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
is that what you really want? all those freeze dried noodles and white rice mixed with heart stoppingly delicious msg flavor aids.
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:iconformor:
Formor Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2005
A little different, gambling miasma ... great description :nod:
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:icondeborah-valentine:
Deborah-Valentine Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2005  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you. it was a miasma life at the horse races.
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